Imagine you are presented with 2 boxes to store up and you get to choose the one to keep. The 2 look okay from afar however as you come closer you observe that Box A looks flowery and beautiful and it also gives off this deeply beautiful smell. Box B others other hand looks beautiful however the smell is contained and as you attempt to open up the box you realise the outward beauty is all there is to box B as the inside smells really awful; which of the boxes would you pick?
I know which I would pick however which would you pick? In fact, it feels like a no brainer, right? Why would anyone pick Box B that appears to be just superficial? Unfortunately many people judge the box by its outward beauty and get caught up with Box B for longer they plan.
Isn’t this the reality of many relationships around us now? From friendships to marriages to work relationships. Too many fake relationships too many people being two-faced and judgmental. The life f this world has sucked them in and they are hanging out with people they have no business staying with.
Allaah says, “On that day, friends will be one another’s enemies, except for the God wary.” (43:67)
Furthermore, the Holy Prophet (sallallaahualayhi wassalam) while explaining the impact of friends says:
“Man is influenced by the faith of his friends. Therefore, be careful of whom you befriend.”[Allamah Majlisi, Bihar al-Anwar, Vol. 74, P. 192.]
Give this verse of Qur’an some thought and ask yourself this questions:
What do I engage in when I meet with my friends?
How much have I grown since I met them?
Can I defend the bulk of our discussions before Allaah?
Have they helped me submit more to Allaah or have I felt farther from my Lord?
These are questions that I constantly ask when I find myself in the company of people.
Are these friends helping you fall in love with yourself and the gifts you’ve been blessed with or are they making you wonder why Allaah doesn’t answer your dua’a
Some people are talented in making others feel less whilst there are those who struggle with their self-esteem and so demonize those who have what they find missing.
Wouldn’t a better approach be that you befriend those people whilst learning from them? Whenever I meet someone who has traits I am interested in adopting, I immediately become friends with them as this would help me become better. Every day we are opportune to live is an opportunity to be a better version of ourselves. Anger and Envy are road blocks on this path to nourishing and nurturing our soul so how about we change our way of engaging with these situations so we can grow by virtue of these interactions rather than move farther away from Allaah
Similarly, the commander of the faithful; Imam Ali (AS) says:
“Try to have as many as possible true friends, for they are the supplies in joy and the shelters in misfortunes”
Notice Ali (radiyallaahu anhu) mentioned “true friends”.
So I ask you, who are you Chillin with?
What emotional state do you leave your gatherings of meeting up in? Are you empowered and happy or do you live feeling scared and worthless?
Are they people who speak to you about growing in all facets of life or is all your discussions centered on other people’s lives? Keep company with only those who value your akhirah enough to keep you growing and becoming better. Fight for friendships of those who are constantly up leveling in various facets of their life.
To end this piece, I leave you with the hadith of the Nabiy sallallaahu alayhi wassalam in which Ibn Abbas reported: It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, which gathering is best?” The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “A gathering of those who inspire you to remember Allaah when you see them, whose discourse increases your knowledge, and whose good deeds inspire you to remember the Hereafter.”
Source: Musnad Abī Ya’lá 2408
Grade: Hasan (fair) according to Al-Busiri
Any good found in this is from Allaah and any errors in it is from none but Shaytan and I seek refuge from having him as a friend. May Allaah accept this from me and make the piece more beneficial than I ever imagined. Aamiyn Subhaanaka llaahuma wabihamdik wa ashhadu an laa illaha illa anta nastagfiruka wa atoobu ilayh
Umm Aasiyah Aishah Adams